Life Memory: 2020

, by Hamida Kurniawati

Life

Gratitude Journal #2 Success is built on failure

Again, what my mind stick on is two options we can choose, we can even be wounded or can either become wise.

an Einstein said

"Those that have never failed, those have never tried"

Yes sure I fear, I am worry, I am afraid, I feel guilty, I feel bad of myself, throughout the day, over the years.

But then I heal..

I will more fear, if I never try, if I never know what the result..

at least I already put my biggest effort in serious attempts.

Remember, when everything seems to be going against you, you know that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it. And once you learn by falling on your face, that's how you learn. You learn by trying to create a light bulb, over, over, and over again.

Again! I used to feed some positives inside my minds, even on daily life we ever on high performance or high motivation even we are not. I don't ever feel like a loser and I won't give up, even if I lose, I'll do it again. I will never look as failure is an opportunity to lose, rather than as an opportunity to learn. There is nothing wrong to make a mistake and so what can I learn from this. Now you're leveraging this problem to grow. Nobody can stop you.

Turn Debt into Self Confidence.

So confidence is something that I doubt myself. I started becoming okay with who I am, I became the best version of me. So it made me understand that confidence is truly the key to getting ahead in life. If you believe in yourself the world believe in you because perception is reality. I did with my love, my confidence, my mindset, my positivity, my energy, my clarity, I believe in those. Yo believe it too anyway.

Let go of your past and learn from your failures!

I've been passing 7 processes of failures and keep facing ahead from the failures are, I am learning from that! if you think I am the one who is strong and tough enough, you are definitely wrong, I am so fragile that used to blame myself and cried over the night. Nobody comes with me, only my mom, the only my parent, she is everything for me. No one with me, only my mind and my body are. and if you asked me how to heal, I meditate, I cried a lot, I used to stay awake at night and wake up early. Why? the reason only my mind is on thinking, my mind is always on. I think how is the next plan that I've learned from and how the other possibilities I would try through my next journey. There is no stop in my head instead I try to achieve other dreams listed on my bucket. I know possibly it's too hard for myself. But in the process, I discovered I was capable of far more than I ever imagined. We can do but we never realize! we can do more than boundaries we thought, as I learned to look at every moment, challenge, and bullshit story in my mind through a lens of wonder, I ignited my imagination, opened up possibilities where they previously did not exist, saw the beauty and magic available in each moment, and peeled back the layers of conditioning to uncover, and access the truth that resides within.

I do a lot reading many books, I try to find what I can enhance for my skills, I ever on the point I wanna give up.. But again, I think, no, no, this is not you, my deep conscious is shouting, No! continue.. You are what you think.. You have your own pace, and you know where you are. You only now is growing, will grow and grow to the next level, just be prepared for the next journey that God will show you, He only test where's your strength holding on. Then I finally had stopped worrying so damn seriously when I learned to see it kinda a blocking device for me. It was underneath my long and tendentious of unworthiness, not-enoughness, perfectionism, shame, and who I thought I was "supposed to be" that I discovered another voice. A much more kind, compassionate, and curious one.

I put my wonder over worry.

When worry says, who the hell are you to do that? wonder chrimes in to say, If not you, then who?

When worry is on its high horse, declaring, You’re not actually going to say that, right? Wonder will ever so clearly state, You are here to speak your truth. Today. Tomorrow. Always. Is what you want to say a reflection of your truth?

And when Worry is inclined to keep the same soundtrack of judgment and fear and anxiety playing over and over and over again, Wonder will name the worry to tame it by saying,

Hey judgment, I see you. Hey fear, I see you. Hey anxiety, I see you. I get that you’re trying to keep us safe here, and I respect that. But we’re on an important adventure, and you are forbidden from navigating.

Worry and Wonder are perpetually pointing us away from or toward who we truly are and what we’re here to give. In every moment of every day, we get to choose whom we listen to: Worry or Wonder.

Which will you choose?

Again,

I put my wonder over worry.

Let we re-write other stories to learn form other gratitude journals.